Netzarim, Original followers of Yeshua & His 12
I still feel like I'm in No Man's Land as I feel like I don't fit in at any of my local Messianic Congregations anymore-like their too "Christian" for me now.
I have for some time visited, on occassions, Orthodox and Conservative synagogues. There is a Conservative synagogue called Shir Hadash that has music and singing and I really like it there! I have been invited to participate a few times now since visiting over the past year. I have carried the Torah among the congregation; I have held up the Torah before the congregation; and recently I was invited to make aliyah to the Bema for my first time! That was incredible to say the least! But all times I have participated have been great! There is a STRONG Presence of Adonoi there!
I have also been involved at the Messianic congregation Beth Abraham for the last 3 years reading hebrew portions from the parshas (sidrahs) at the Bema as well as sharing 5-minute commentaries of the parshas at the pulpit. I have even preached a regular sermon there in the absence of the pastor (I am an ordained pastor & formerly pastored an independent Baptist church, pre-Torah). However, I feel more at home at the conservative congregation than anywhere else.
My prayer to Hashem is that He lead me in His Truth by the Ruach of Elohim. I have talked with Orthodox and Conservative Rabbis about my situation and my journey of how I have arrived to where I am now. There is some consideration of conversion. After all, I originally converted to Christianity & identified with that. Now I need something to identify with where I'm going & where I want to end up.